![]() ![]() ''It's not a crime to hope, you know,'' he tells her. ![]() When she finds a sympathetic psychiatrist, she dwells on the subject of her infertility so much that in the end he points out to her that she is not moving on she is, he says, not even going backwards. They both decide that it's time to close the book on the baby quest.Įxcept that Turnbull, despite her glorious surroundings, finds herself sinking into a depression, unable to write, and becoming more and more withdrawn. So that is where Sarah, Frederic and Maddie find themselves in a cottage by a lagoon, in a landscape full of vivid colours, with friends and an entire new culture and way of life to absorb. They settle on Mo'orea - a ferry ride to Pape'ete where Frederic will be working, and not as busy or as populated. After all, Turnbull reasons, what could be so bad about a place that inspired Gauguin and Matisse? Gradually, the idea of Tahiti takes hold. Quite soon it becomes evident that the Holy Grail of this book is their quest to have a baby, and Turnbull writes with searing honesty about the hormonal swings, the debilitating effect of IVF on her body, the moments of optimism, and the crash when yet again it doesn't work. Because, as it transpires, after discovering that Turnbull is in the throes of early menopause, Frederic and Sarah have taken the IVF route several times with no success and a lot of heartbreak. ![]()
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